Twenty Five is the New Fifty Two

Today was rougher than riding a stegosaurus bare-back… in the nude.

I thought it would be an awesome idea to go to Chicago with my friends on Sunday night to see a couple bands play. I told them I had to wake up at 5:45am for work, so we had to be home by 2:30am at the latest. Sure, what would be doable!

We didn’t LEAVE Chicago until 2:30am! I drove home because my friends were a tad intoxicated, and offered to let them stay at my place. After sleeping in the car the entire ride home, they were a bit giggly and bouncy when we reached my house. One ended up calling her boyfriend to come pick her up, which was a cute little debacle.

I ended up getting a healthy forty-five minutes of sleep. Whoopie!

I stopped at Panera on my way to work, because I didn’t eat supper the night before (unless you want to count those skittles) and I was feeling hungry.

Breakfast (7:30am)

Jalapeno Cheddar Bagel- 310 calories; 30 fat cal.
Reduced Fat Cream Cheese- 130 calories; 110 fat cal.
Total: 440/130

Ew, the cream cheese calories are grossing me out. Not to mention that I decided it was OK to even eat cream cheese again.

Lunch (12:15pm)

Caprese Salad (I made it, and I really don’t know how many calories a few slices of tomato, mozzerella cheese and some olive oil has)
Apple
Five Tortilla Chips and a Tablespoon of Salsa
I didn’t really look at any calorie counts for this

Snack (2:30pm)

Cranberry Trail Mix (Peanuts, Raisins, Cranberries, Almonds, Cashews, M&Ms)
I ate way too much of this, and I know its terribly bad and fatty for you. I try to pick out the peanuts and M&Ms, but… yeah.
Raisins
I also have a bag of raisins. they are kind of healthy, but dried fruit isn’t as good for you as real fruit.

Dinner (7:30-8pm)

Vegan Fajitas
Smart Strips “Chicken” Strips- 80 Calories; 0 fat cals
Red Bell Pepper
Onion
Fajita Seasoning
Salsa
1 tbsp Guacamole
I am going to place this meal around 150 calories

I was tired as hell today, which resulted in me being overly-emotional and cranky. I am surprised I mustered up enough energy to make Caprese Salad for the office, and Vegan Fajitas by the time I got home.

I was also at my parents house and managed to say no to consuming what was probably a deliciously fattening dinner.

However, I did manage to send out several depressing, too-much-information tweets and texts last night. I think that over-tired messaging rivals drunk messaging any day.

Tack on the usual bedmeds, and I was asleep right around midnight.

I have been really bad at recording what I have been eating lately because I hate to admit that I have had terrible eating habits all week. Lets sum-up last night, shall we?

I had dinner with a friend at a nicer restaurant/bar and I get a nice, healthy grilled vegetable and spinach salad, with a water. Way to go, Leah!

Returned home at 10:45, and wanted sweets like no one’s business.

We have absolutely no desserts of any kind in our house for this reason, save for this box of brownie mix I brought home months ago. We almost never have eggs, but for some reason we did last night. I’ll give you one guess what happened…

yeah. I made those damn brownies (after eating a decent amount of the batter.) I didn’t eat any of the actual cooked brownies last night, which I guess was a plus. I did, however, eat a small bag of Fritos. Mmm, healthy salad with a brownie batter and frito chaser.

I woke up this morning and had a big chunk of those brownies for breakfast.

i then came to work and had a banana.

It was an employees birthday, and they brought bagels. What the hell? I’ll have one of those, too!

Pretty sure I consumed my entire day’s worth of calories before 10am.

It is now 1:22pm, and I haven’t had anything else to eat because I literally feel yucky. Baaaad choices were made in the past twenty four hours, folks.

I am sincerely hoping that those brownies disappeared somehow before I get home from work.

So before I dive into what a lard-ass insomniac I was this weekend, I wanted to share a little bit of knowledge about these “healthy fats” that we are told to include in our diet every day.

Perhaps its just me, but I feel like its common knowledge that 80% of the general population is well aware that they eat way too much fat. Perhaps what they don’t realize is that even when they are eating “good” or “healthy” fats, these are still fats and should be consumed sparingly.

Don’t get me wrong; Raw (or uncooked) Fats actually contain a natural enzyme called lipase, which helps break down stored bad fats in your body, which can aid in helping to strip those pounds off your fat self. However, your diet should only contain about 10 to 20 percent of Raw Fats. Anything more can make your liver work overtime, and consuming less will make your complexion and skin suffer (and no one wants to look like an ashy sand-baby). You should also be aware that one gram of fat contains nine calories! That is almost double the amount of carbohydrates and proteins! Mmm, fat…

If you consume around 2,000 calories a day, this means 300-400 should come from Raw Fats. Here is a chart so you can help plan your Raw Fat intake accordingly:

Raw Fats Calorie Guide

Oil (coconut, flax, hemp, olive) 1 tbsp. Fat Grams: 14  Calories: 125

Avocado 1 medium Fat Grams: 30  Calories: 305

Olives 8 medium Fat Grams: 4  Calories: 26

Sesame, Sunflower or Pumpkin seeds 1 tbsp. Fat Grams: 8  Calories: 45

Almonds 1/4 cup Fat Grams: 17.5  Calories: 198

Coconut 1 cup Fat Grams: 27  Calories: 285

Raw Cream 1 cup  Fat Grams: 22  Calories: 205

Raw Whole Milk 1 cup  Fat Grams: 8  Calories: 150

Raw Butter 2 tbsp. Fat Grams: 12  Calories: 101

Raw Goat Milk 1 cup  Fat Grams: 10  Calories: 16

Although nuts are considered “healthy” fats, they are still fats, and should be eaten sparingly.

Yeah, right.

So as far as I can remember, here is how the remainder of my day went:

2:30 pm (?)

Two 1/4 cup servings of GK Snack’s Cranberry Nut Mix:
140 calories (60 fat calories) per serving- 280 (120)

I also think that throughout my day at work (8:45am-6:30pm) I drank my weight in water, which resulted in a million trips to the bathroom. My co-workers my secretly wonder what I am plotting in there…

I arrived home, immediately grabbed a bag of those Ballpark Nacho flavored Frito chips and destroyed it. I then passed-out because I was so tired from the night before.

7pm

Small Bag of Ballpark Nacho Fritos
160 Calories (90 fat calories per serving)
two servings per bag- 320 (180)

I then woke up when my room mate came home about an hour later. Chatted with her for a bit before she left for dinner with her sister, and proceeded to look for something for dinner. I ended up making farfalle pasta with a bit of smart balance butter spread and daiya “cheese” on it. I will have to re-check the calorie counts on this, but I am going to place it somewhere around 300 calories. I also made some green peas.

8:30 pm

Noodle stuff
300 calories- 300
1/2 Cup Peas
60 calories- 60

I spent the majority of the night posted up on the couch feeling sorry for myself and intermittently crying while texting different friends. I still don’t know why I am so upset. Maybe I just need a good cry every once in awhile? Oh, I should also mention I ate a decent amount of Baked Lays potato chips in an effort to ease my pain. Yeah, it didn’t work

Time Unknown

Two servings Lay’s Baked Potato Crisps
120 Calories (15 fat calories)- 240 (30)

Then my room mate came home and gave me some chocolate covered-crystalized banana pieces. Exactly what I did(n’t) need!

Guilty O’Clock

Chocolate-Covered Banana Goodness
Let’s call it 150 calories- 150

She then left, and I was still feeling like a sap and laying on the couch. At this point, it was 12:30am, and I was still (in my mind, at least) hungry. Because I am mildly retarded and posses no self-control, I reached for the phone and dialed Pizza Shuttle. THANK GOD THEY DIDN’T ANSWER! So I did the next sensible thing; popped my sleep meds and passed out.

1am-ish
Two 25MG Topiramate Tablets
1/2 350MG Carisoprodol (Soma) Tablet

That brings the day’s total to a disturbing 1,905 calories! I didn’t even exercise at all. Gross. I would like to be around 1,00 calories a day, max.

Get your life together, you big cry baby, and stop trying to mop up your tears with snack food.

I just found out yesterday that I will be in a show for Bebe next week, so my better eating really needs to start today. I am really not sure how I can be so on-track with my healthy diet habits, then fall off so quickly.

I know a big downfall of mine is being around other people with bad habits, because I have very little will power when it comes to choosing a salad when everyone else is eating pizza.

So here I am, actually trying to stick to my word and keep a “diary,” of sorts, on what I eat, do, meds I take, and how I am feeling on a particular day: I’ll try not to leave anything out, because I don’t think that will be helpful in any way.

So far today:

9am

One 30mg Adderall XR Capsule; One 25MG Topiramate Tablet
(I ran out of my BP medicine; need to see doctor for a refill)

Two 1/4 cup servings of GK Snack’s Cranberry Nut Mix:
140 calories (60 fat calories) per serving- 280 (120)

12:30pm

One medium tomato seasoned with pepper
15 Calories (0 fat calories) per serving- 15 (0)

CalNaturale Svelte Protein Drink
260 Calories (90 fat calories) per serving- 260 (90)

I also feel really tired, and kind of on the depressed side. I had to bar-tend right after my full-time job yesterday, and ended up staying until close, so it was a long night. I squeezed in what was more like a three hour nap before I had to be up again for work. I normally get about 4-hours of sleep a night, so this is even less than my usual small amount. My brain has just been keeping me awake with a lot of things, and the Soma makes it hard to wake up if I don’t give it enough time to wear-off.

I hope the sad, stagnant feeling is just the back-from-vacation blues and not the life-sucking, “woe is me” mental state that leaves me posted-up on the couch for days at a time in silence. However, being withdrawn is a side-effect of the Topiramate that I hate. I really do keep photos, writings, etc. to remind me that I am happy and my life is beautiful.

Still at work now and there is proof-reading to be done, as well as research and programming to work on.

I’ll also keep a careful watch on what goes in my mouth…