Twenty Five is the New Fifty Two

If you’re anything like me, you fear the word “fat” more than you dread the notion of having to represent Lindsay Lohan in court.

Perhaps there may be no good excuse for LiLo’s moonshine addiction, but there is such thing as “friendly fat.”

I want you to meet my lovely friend, Omega-3 Fatty Acid (and no, Lindsay; you don’t tootally trip balls off of it)

Let me give you the skinny on my favorite fatty:

Omega-3 Fatty Acids are a “family of similar” unsaturated acids. The most important ones being ALA, DHA and EPA. They are considered essential for good health.

Not only do you need Omega-3 Fatty Acids (which I am going to shorten to O3FA’s from now on, because… I said so) for your BRAIN to function properly, but research shows that they provide the following health benefits:

• reduced risk of heart disease
• lower bad cholesterol levels
• reduced blood pressure
• lower triglyceride levels (for diabetics)
• better mood (aided in depression and bipolar treatment)

Lack of O3FA’s in your diet can result in some crummy symptoms, including  fatigue (read- really freaking tired), dry skin, mood swings or depression, heart problems or poor circulation.

This might explain why my hands and feet are perpetually cold.

Your body cannot make O3FA’s on it’s own; you have to get them through food. Here is a quick list of some delicious places to get your fat fix:

• Flax (the BEST source!!!)
• Walnuts
• Pecans

For those of you who like to eat the flesh of living things, you can also get it from seafood, and even seal oil. However, the last option is fairly illegal, so I would suggest having a nice salmon fillet before you try to claim you were clubbing seals to lower your cholesterol.

If you really hate fish, you can take a fish oil supplement.

Now when someone calls you a fatty, you can smile and say, “thank you!” After you kick them in the jugular, of course.

(Source: Wikipedia)

Today was rougher than riding a stegosaurus bare-back… in the nude.

I thought it would be an awesome idea to go to Chicago with my friends on Sunday night to see a couple bands play. I told them I had to wake up at 5:45am for work, so we had to be home by 2:30am at the latest. Sure, what would be doable!

We didn’t LEAVE Chicago until 2:30am! I drove home because my friends were a tad intoxicated, and offered to let them stay at my place. After sleeping in the car the entire ride home, they were a bit giggly and bouncy when we reached my house. One ended up calling her boyfriend to come pick her up, which was a cute little debacle.

I ended up getting a healthy forty-five minutes of sleep. Whoopie!

I stopped at Panera on my way to work, because I didn’t eat supper the night before (unless you want to count those skittles) and I was feeling hungry.

Breakfast (7:30am)

Jalapeno Cheddar Bagel- 310 calories; 30 fat cal.
Reduced Fat Cream Cheese- 130 calories; 110 fat cal.
Total: 440/130

Ew, the cream cheese calories are grossing me out. Not to mention that I decided it was OK to even eat cream cheese again.

Lunch (12:15pm)

Caprese Salad (I made it, and I really don’t know how many calories a few slices of tomato, mozzerella cheese and some olive oil has)
Apple
Five Tortilla Chips and a Tablespoon of Salsa
I didn’t really look at any calorie counts for this

Snack (2:30pm)

Cranberry Trail Mix (Peanuts, Raisins, Cranberries, Almonds, Cashews, M&Ms)
I ate way too much of this, and I know its terribly bad and fatty for you. I try to pick out the peanuts and M&Ms, but… yeah.
Raisins
I also have a bag of raisins. they are kind of healthy, but dried fruit isn’t as good for you as real fruit.

Dinner (7:30-8pm)

Vegan Fajitas
Smart Strips “Chicken” Strips- 80 Calories; 0 fat cals
Red Bell Pepper
Onion
Fajita Seasoning
Salsa
1 tbsp Guacamole
I am going to place this meal around 150 calories

I was tired as hell today, which resulted in me being overly-emotional and cranky. I am surprised I mustered up enough energy to make Caprese Salad for the office, and Vegan Fajitas by the time I got home.

I was also at my parents house and managed to say no to consuming what was probably a deliciously fattening dinner.

However, I did manage to send out several depressing, too-much-information tweets and texts last night. I think that over-tired messaging rivals drunk messaging any day.

Tack on the usual bedmeds, and I was asleep right around midnight.

I have been really bad at recording what I have been eating lately because I hate to admit that I have had terrible eating habits all week. Lets sum-up last night, shall we?

I had dinner with a friend at a nicer restaurant/bar and I get a nice, healthy grilled vegetable and spinach salad, with a water. Way to go, Leah!

Returned home at 10:45, and wanted sweets like no one’s business.

We have absolutely no desserts of any kind in our house for this reason, save for this box of brownie mix I brought home months ago. We almost never have eggs, but for some reason we did last night. I’ll give you one guess what happened…

yeah. I made those damn brownies (after eating a decent amount of the batter.) I didn’t eat any of the actual cooked brownies last night, which I guess was a plus. I did, however, eat a small bag of Fritos. Mmm, healthy salad with a brownie batter and frito chaser.

I woke up this morning and had a big chunk of those brownies for breakfast.

i then came to work and had a banana.

It was an employees birthday, and they brought bagels. What the hell? I’ll have one of those, too!

Pretty sure I consumed my entire day’s worth of calories before 10am.

It is now 1:22pm, and I haven’t had anything else to eat because I literally feel yucky. Baaaad choices were made in the past twenty four hours, folks.

I am sincerely hoping that those brownies disappeared somehow before I get home from work.

Although nuts are considered “healthy” fats, they are still fats, and should be eaten sparingly.

Yeah, right.

So as far as I can remember, here is how the remainder of my day went:

2:30 pm (?)

Two 1/4 cup servings of GK Snack’s Cranberry Nut Mix:
140 calories (60 fat calories) per serving- 280 (120)

I also think that throughout my day at work (8:45am-6:30pm) I drank my weight in water, which resulted in a million trips to the bathroom. My co-workers my secretly wonder what I am plotting in there…

I arrived home, immediately grabbed a bag of those Ballpark Nacho flavored Frito chips and destroyed it. I then passed-out because I was so tired from the night before.

7pm

Small Bag of Ballpark Nacho Fritos
160 Calories (90 fat calories per serving)
two servings per bag- 320 (180)

I then woke up when my room mate came home about an hour later. Chatted with her for a bit before she left for dinner with her sister, and proceeded to look for something for dinner. I ended up making farfalle pasta with a bit of smart balance butter spread and daiya “cheese” on it. I will have to re-check the calorie counts on this, but I am going to place it somewhere around 300 calories. I also made some green peas.

8:30 pm

Noodle stuff
300 calories- 300
1/2 Cup Peas
60 calories- 60

I spent the majority of the night posted up on the couch feeling sorry for myself and intermittently crying while texting different friends. I still don’t know why I am so upset. Maybe I just need a good cry every once in awhile? Oh, I should also mention I ate a decent amount of Baked Lays potato chips in an effort to ease my pain. Yeah, it didn’t work

Time Unknown

Two servings Lay’s Baked Potato Crisps
120 Calories (15 fat calories)- 240 (30)

Then my room mate came home and gave me some chocolate covered-crystalized banana pieces. Exactly what I did(n’t) need!

Guilty O’Clock

Chocolate-Covered Banana Goodness
Let’s call it 150 calories- 150

She then left, and I was still feeling like a sap and laying on the couch. At this point, it was 12:30am, and I was still (in my mind, at least) hungry. Because I am mildly retarded and posses no self-control, I reached for the phone and dialed Pizza Shuttle. THANK GOD THEY DIDN’T ANSWER! So I did the next sensible thing; popped my sleep meds and passed out.

1am-ish
Two 25MG Topiramate Tablets
1/2 350MG Carisoprodol (Soma) Tablet

That brings the day’s total to a disturbing 1,905 calories! I didn’t even exercise at all. Gross. I would like to be around 1,00 calories a day, max.

Get your life together, you big cry baby, and stop trying to mop up your tears with snack food.